Archie Bunker.

Fuck off, old man.

Go away, go away, go away.

Sunday morning confessions.

I slept plenty last night, but just like all other good things in life I can never get enough time in bed. I set an alarm for 5:11am and snoozed it almost immediately; I set another alarm for 5:47 and I snoozed that too. At around 5 til I finally decided to get out of bed thinking I could just suffer through the day without a shower.

It became quickly apparent that the shower was not optional.

Already running late, there was no time to squeeze in a shower, so I took a few moments to collect my belongings in an overnight bag and ran out the door. Once at work I set to my morning duties... in my pajamas. Then I put a room out of inventory for myself and took a shower.

At work. On the clock.

I can't even being to count how many kinds of awesome it was to be able to do that. It was a short break, less than 15 minutes start to finish, and not a single person had stepped foot in the lobby or called on the phone in the time that it took to bathe and dress.

I definitely won't be making a habit out of this, but I do enjoy knowing that I at least have the option if I ever find myself in a similar pickle. It certainly made working today more pleasant smelling fresh and feeling good and only being 7 minutes late to work... boo ya.

Double-post Saturday: Help Wanted edition.

General Manager, Country Club: Seeking a General Manager with restaurant and bar experience. Our goal is to provide a best in class experience for our members and guests. Duties would include all aspects of restaurant, bar, pool, snack shack, and beverage carts of our superb 18 hole 275 member club. Daily deposits, and monthly statements would be limited bookkeeping responsibilities.

Club Manager: Daytime position paying salary plus tips. Local club and bar looking for full-time bar manager. Responsibilities include inventory, stocking, serving, hall rental and more various duties.

-x-

Each day I spend at work and each class I go to and every individual character I add onto my resumé make me feel better and better about my chances of not only finding a job, but being in a position where I'll have to swat away job offers like they're pesky flies.

I like my odds more as each day passes.

today's conundrum, and thoughts on coffee part deux.

Fridnesday came and went, and to be quite honest I feel cheated of my "weekend" due to the fact that two of my classes scheduled post-spring break midterm exams for Thursday and Friday.

Needless to say I am none too pleased about having had to wake up at 5am (okay, I'll be honest... I rolled out of bed at 5:53) or having to spend this chilly Saturday sitting in the lobby counting the seconds in between struggling to keep my head from hitting the desk from exhaustion.

That being said, I am expecting a package to be delivered to the desk and I can't imagine being anywhere else while the online tracking reads "In Transit." This particular package contains 4th generation iPod Touch, which isn't mine but I'm still excited to get to play with it nonetheless.

iPod excitement aside, as I speak (umm, type?) a certain manfriend-roommate-future-spouse of mine is collecting a (mostly) brand spankin' new desktop computer to replace the relic that I currently suffer with at home. As excited as I am at the prospect of going home to new electronics to play with, it's still 4.5 hours away and I'm agitated with the role reversal we're both experiencing in this situation. I'm stuck at work with his new iPod, and he's at home with my new computer.

Dear Saturday, THIS SHIT IS NOT FAIR, CUT IT OUT!

But in all fairness, as far as Saturdays go today's a pretty good one. I'm already halfway into my shift and I've barely noticed the time. Not to mention it's still half an hour until checkout and I only have 2 rooms I'm waiting on, and there are two housekeepers here to lessen the load. So yay.

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Now, for part two of thoughts on coffee.

Both my parents are seriously heavy coffee drinkers and they have been all my life. I never considered my parents as being anything other than parents, meaning I have a hard time believing they're real people, but it occurred to me recently that neither of my parents are what you would call "morning people." As long as I can remember, their work schedules and having to take us kids to school required that they be up insanely early which they managed to do for years on end without fail. But only in the last week since my short weekend visit home did I notice that my parents' "sleep in" time is MUCH later than I remember it being. And still, even after sleeping in an extra 3 hours than normal, both my parents woke up to a pot of coffee... each.

Being in the same situation now as a pseudo-adult, I find myself in the crappy predicament of having to work early morning hours; it's not something I love doing but at the same time I prefer it to the alternatives so I suffer through dusk as patiently as I can. I never considered myself a coffee person (minus the summer I spent in France, French coffee is ALWAYS worth waking up for) and even having a 5:30am alarm time hasn't changed that. But it seems like every morning at work I'm tempted by the smell wafting from the coffee maker and I always fail to stop myself from snagging a cup.

Today's realization: coffee is like cigarettes. It's a scent that it strongly tied to my childhood (severe emphasis on "strongly") and therefore I relate the scent to good memories, thus good feelings, thus I want to drink coffee. But just like cigarettes it's only a good idea until I actually execute, at which point I regret it almost immediately. The problem with coffee is that unlike cigarettes, I can't brush my teeth and shower and be rid of it. No. Coffee lingers for HOURS... between the breath and the way it coats my teeth, the immediate and short-lived pick-me-up followed by hours of jitters, and WORSTLY the subsequent four trips to the bathroom with the dreaded coffee shits.

In conclusion, coffee is the devil. But it's a good-smelling devil that conjures happy feelings that I will probably never be able to resist which is compounded by my choice to pursue a career in hospitality for which coffee is an industry staple. WTFML.

It's Fridnesday!

The raise I was promised FOUR weeks ago... yep, STILL hasn't arrived. But... boss called today to let me know he will be putting a separate check with my paycheck to makeup for the difference and he's already talked to the accountant about changing the payroll so YAY ALL AROUND!

I meant to write about the find-the-leak scavenger hunt I had to partake in this weekend but it slipped my mind, so here are the deets:

It was Sunday morning and I was playing an internet game when the WiFi suddenly stopped working. I went to the closet where we keep the routers to find all the equipment was soaking wet. It was raining pretty hard so I figured it was an issue with the roof so I called my boss. Once he arrived, he asked me to help him find the source of the drippage before we called maintenance. He was in the crawlspace in the wall where the water pipes are, and I bounced around between rooms turning faucets on and off. We determined that the pipes connected to the sink in room 314 needed to be re-sealed, and I had to relocate the gentleman who was occupying the room at the time. I called the plumber who showed up within 10 minutes and had the problem fixed in less than 20.

The reason I bothered to mention this is because it was a grand lesson for me to have been a part of. It was a moment of terror seeing all our internet-related electrical equipment covered in splashes of water, and then subsequently finding third floor housekeeping closet under a puddle, and seeing all the water gush from the pipes from 314. It was all very horrifying, the worst-case-scenario part of my brain took over and I was dreading the damage, but my boss showed me that these are simple problems that can be handled quite easily as long as it's done soon enough.

I took some old rags to the router and modem and flipped them upside down to dry, then we mopped the floor upstairs and left Room 314 out of order for a day just to keep an eye on things. After everything was settled there was no permanent damage and only a small bill to the plumber for coming out on a Sunday, he later told me he was happy to have a reason to leave the house.

On a different note... since it's Fridnesday and all, I was thinking about the sad state of my work schedule. On Monday at around 3:30PM I realized how relieved I was to be done with the bulk of my work week and happy to have the next 48 hours to myself. Until I realized that Monday (as opposed to normal people's Friday) is now the best day of the week, which isn't so great since my school schedule still adheres to a M-F kind of schedule.

So here's a cheers to it being Fridnesday, to exactly SIX WEEKS left of classes (before finals), to having aced all my midterms, to learning how to handle a leaky pipe situation and not losing my cool, and of course to the 8% cash back I get on my VISA card on qualifying purchases. Happy Fridnesday to me, indeed.

B-52.

I'm feeling pretty racist today, but in all fairness I'm being equally intolerant of all the people I've encountered so far.

I don't think it's unfair for me to expect that the people I do business with speak fucking English. I'm talking Mexican immigrants AND those black assholes from Chicago... and anyone else who doesn't seem to have a good grip of verb usage.

Seriously.

A black guy said something to me and I had to have him repeat himself THREE TIMES before I got the gist of what he was getting at. The final time he rolled his eyes at me before he begrudgingly strained his tongue to enunciate. Clearly, he's very capable of communicating in an effective manner, but it boiled my blood to know that this asshole was PURPOSELY speaking like an ignorant douchebag for the sake of preserving his street cred.

Although, I'd much rather have to deal with him unlike the drunken redneck retards that followed in after my orally challenged Chicago friend. This couple have fried every one of their vital organs into a state of barely-functioning to such a point that even if they WANTED TO there's no way in hell they could get their muscles to cooperate long enough to speak a sentence, keep their eyes open, and not lose their balance all at the same time. Simply impossible.

I guess the upside to tonight is that I haven't had to deal with bodily fluids... yet.

fun with racism.

I walk into work this afternoon to find my coworker with a look on his face that was scary and comical all at the same time. He had a complaint about a room I had checked in, as if everything that had happened since then was all my fault. Well, it turns out I had NOT checked that room in, only made the reservation, but because of the way our system is set up we can't make the distinction between reservation agent and check-in agent.

I asked my coworker what the problem was, and he responded oh-so-casually:

"It's that Russian guy. I hate Russians. They always try to take advantage, I don't trust him."

is it Fridnesday yet?

Today sucks, and it's only Sunday. I'm exhausted and it's making me grumpy, unfriendly and intolerant. Today's perk-me-up consists of hot chocolate and Blondie.



I was really angry with the weather, I'm tired of having to dress in layers and waiting for my car to defrost in the morning. The frost on my windshield made me ten minutes late even though I rushed the process by driving with a frosted windshield, looking through an open spot the size of a donut the whole drive to work.

And what's worse is knowing that I need to skip the nap after work tonight for fear of having an even worse Monday.

But that bass line makes it so hard not to be happy. And a coked out Debby Harry dancing like she's having a stroke. Thank you, 80s, for rocking my morning.

Announcing Jehovah's Kingdom

Position: Sales Manager

Professionally sell the products and services of the hotel. Special emphasis will be placed on guestroom sales, concentrating on low and shoulder season sales.

1. General Education: High school graduate with a minimum of one year of college or business related experience.
2. Previous experience: Minimum two years hotel experience. Minimum of one-year sales experience.
3. Complexity of Duties: Selling of hotel facilities to clients. Involvement in sales planning.
4. Supervises: None.
5. Public Contact: Constantly working with customers and hotel employees at all levels.
6. Special Considerations: Well groomed with a good appearance. Detail oriented. Self motivated.

Starting pay: $35k, more based on experience.

It's nice to know that if today was the first day of the rest of my life and I needed to find a job, I could easily land this one and I'm at least worth 35k. The idea of sales terrifies me because I hate having to push a product onto people, I'm not much of a sales person and I'm definitely better suited for customer service or management. But still... I could do this.

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I'm having a great morning, which is rare for a Saturday, which is even rarer for THIS Saturday. I came in ON TIME (seriously... I clocked in at 6:01, that NEVER happens) despite the fact that I slept in 13 minutes late. Things were going well, minus the burned out light bulb in the lobby that required me to risk my life crawling up on a rickety old step ladder.

Even with the group of ten Mexicans that cleaned out all the breakfast items I set out and having them grind frosting into the carpet... rude jerk bastards.

Even with the guy who complained of phantom ants "covering the entire bathroom wall" (his words, not mine) when there was probably only a small cluster that went away in the two minutes it took for my boss to walk downstairs.

Even with the door-to-door religion salesman insisting on leaving pamphlets at the desk despite my kindest objections. At least I have the March 2011 edition of "The Watchtower: Announcing Jehovah's Kingdom: to read in my downtime.

thoughts on impatience.

To the person who could not wait ONE MINUTE for me to get off the phone, FUCK YOU.

Let's review:
-I was already on the phone when you walked in
-As you walked through the door I acknowledged you in a friendly manner and said "I will be with you in just a moment, thank you for waiting"
-I apologized the immediate moment I realized this call was going to take longer than expected, and I again reiterated that it would be just a bit longer
-I tried to put my phone call on hold to care for your needs, but when I looked up from the desk you were already gone.

So thank you for your patience, you rude fucking bitch. I'm sorry I couldn't meet your needs fast enough, but in case it didn't cross your thick skull at least once in your long miserable life, YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS WORLD.

I probably dodged a bullet by you walking out the door; if you can't handle being made to wait twenty seconds I can't imagine what kind of hell you would have put me through all night long. Good riddance, I hope you get lice or herpes.