On the one hand, I feel like a giant brat having been mostly sheltered from the economic crisis that's swept the country over the last few years. I've been consistently employed, given flexibility that most jobs could never provide, there are small perks that make this job even better than it should be, my paycheck is enough to pay my bills and live a nice enough life style for the time being.
I've had it good.
And then there's the other side: the frustration, the hopelessness, the dread, the deep-seeded hatred I have for everything my job represents. I hate my job. Before long, I'm afraid that sentence will read "I hate my life."
I'm concerned that I may have misrepresented myself on my newest job application, but I thought, "Hey, at least there's that other job to fall back on." Until I got this email:
Thank you again for giving us the opportunity to consider you for our position Catering Sales Executive (NE) at Marriott International. After careful consideration of the candidates for this position, we are currently considering other candidates whose background and skills more closely fit our needs at this time.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck me. FUCK.
I hate the feeling of having all my eggs in one basket. I'm a security nut, I need to know that I have something to fall back on. My security blanket was just peed on, torched, and the ashes shipped to Afghanistan. Cue the panic attack.
In preparation for tomorrow morning's phone interview, I have read everything I could possibly find about my potential future employers (all the good and the bad), I submitted my two assessment tests for Excel and customer service (87% and 97% respectively), and I even went so far as to purchase a book to brush up on my Spanish skills (or lack thereof).
But as long as we're being honest... I'm terrified. Either things are going to change VERY quickly, or I'm in for more of the same. I'm not exactly sure which scenario scares me more.
