you don't eat no meat?!

My boss, bless his heart, just doesn't understand certain things.

A few months back, I asked my boss for a raise. Little did I know, I asked at a really bad time. We were at the end of the quarter, preparing the financial statements for the last three months and making projections for the next quarter. Projections say: business is down. Average daily rate (herein referred to as ADR) was down sixty cents and occupancy was down by an average of two rooms per night. In 2008 we hit the jackpot when a natural disaster hit this area, 2009 blessed us with a stellar football season, but in 2010 everything just sucked.

So I asked for a raise, thinking that
1. I am a really good employee,
2. I don't ask for things often, so it would be a jerk thing to do to refuse,
3. I really wasn't asking for that much more money.

I grew a pair and asked and my boss turned me down. He was frustrated by the decline in business and that stress was being exasperated by increasing operational costs. He apologized for not being able to grant my request, and I understood even though I was disappointed. He said if I could find a way to make more money, he would be happy to pay me. Then, something happened.

"Jeeziss cry!" (My boss, an Indian man, doesn't realize it's inappropriate to use the name of the savior of the Christian world in a cursing manner, and even worse, he can't even pronounce is correctly.)

As usual, I choke back a giggle when I hear him say this before composing myself to ask, "What's wrong, P?"

"Every damn month we buy new toner. Ninety dollar each time!"

I had a stroke of genius and took this as my opportunity to earn my raise. I told my boss that you can order toner refill kits online instead of buying a new cartridge each time and only getting a measly $5 credit for recycling. His eyes lit up and he told me to do it. Within a few minutes I had ordered enough for two refills with all the included tools for half the price of a brand new cartridge. The only drawback was that I had to pay with my own money and get reimbursed by the business.

It's been half a year since I first came up with this solution, I got my raise, we're saving money and more importantly, the desk is never out of toner. It's all a grand situation, minus the fact that each time I order toner I'm out anywhere between fifty and a hundred bucks. Yes, I know I get reimbursed eventually, BUT I'M A POOR FKIN COLLEGE STUDENT. A hundred dollars is a lot of frozen pizza, okay?

So today, my boss brings over a new cartridge from the printer at one of his other businesses and tells me to fill it. I had a very difficult time explaining to him that toner is not a universal substance and I would need to order some more of a different kind.

I say to him, "Can I do it on Tuesday? I haven't deposited my paycheck yet."
He insists, "No, do it today."
"Well, can I use your credit card? I don't want to use mine since I haven't been to the bank." At this point I'm pleading, hoping he won't force me to part with $99.71. Reimbursements don't come fast enough.
"You don't have no money?"

The look on his face was confusing to me; as the person who signs my paychecks, he knows better than anyone else how much money I make. But I suppose that as the owner of two Mercedes-Benz vehicles, he's probably forgotten how devastating a $100 loss can be to a college student.