on hopelessness.

Sad, sad souls.

It's miserable how many times a day I have to tell people "I can't help you."

I had a guy come in tonight asking for a room, but I'm close to selling out and negotiating rates is not an option today. I quoted him a rate and he said, "oh wow" and broke into a sweat. He started counting the dirty bills inside his wallet and he apologized to me when he realized he only had $30.

He asked if I could refer him to another hotel that would let him stay for that much money. Not gonna happen.

He asked if Greyhound was open. The office is closed, and there's almost nowhere you can travel to for under $30, plus the 15 minute cab ride necessary to get to the bus station would require at least an additional $10. No dice.

He asked for a payphone (do those exist?) and all the tips I could offer on how to get what he needed with the money in his pocket. I don't know how to get by on $30. Food, transportation, and lodging on $30? Impossible.

I've almost become desensitized to this phenomenon, as much as I feel for the lost souls who wander into my lobby I cannot solve their financial problems. Even if I was able to get them into a room, most of the time these people are in so deep that a room for one night is like trying to water the desert with a single drop. I just can't.

Tonight's sad soul had one final request: he asked that I call a cab for him. Destination, the hospital. He didn't say it, but I could read the look on his face. Either he was going to find a quiet deserted corner to sleep, or he was going to fake some symptoms to secure a bed. I don't like to pass judgments but I can almost guarantee that this person is lacking health insurance, which means the taxpayers are about to get the biggest most ridiculous hotel bill ever.

Aside from the political implications of the homeless using the hospital system as free lodging (not exactly free, but it's not as if they'll ever pay the bill), how heartbreaking is it to know that there are people in this country that are that desperate.

I'm not passing judgment. I am just sad.